In the previous post I was writing about how high blood sugars stimulate apathy and depression within me and what I have been finding is that if I continue to allow that apathy, lethargy or depression to continue to exist within myself then the blood sugars for the rest of the day still remain quite difficult to manage - like the insulin that I inject does not have as much of an affect as if I do not have them running around within me. Now I am still working on the point = the point is still coming up and I am still working on the stabilization of the point and of myself within the mornings when I wake up in the mornings. So like what I have found is that it will start to happen during the night - like there will be a specific emotional movement within myself, and it can be coming from a variety of emotions within myself - like frustration can trigger the highs in the morning - like sometimes there are points during the day that I have not yet lot go of during the night and then that like sits within the body throughout the night, then, from what I've noticed, it creates a point within the body that makes it difficult for the body to metabolize the insulin that is already within the body - like I have checked this point within myself = injecting the same insulin that resulted in waking up fine, but when/as I have these systems within the body - usually consisting of a negative energy - it results in higher blood sugars and a difficulty in processing the insulin that's within the body and it has a specific physiological affect on the body - like the emotions of frustration apathy or lethargy etc have a `heavy` affect on the body - so like if someone has participated in depression before it is easy to see how much it literally weighs down the body and as it weighs down the body it has the affects that I have been describing = slower insulin metabolization and also the control of the blood sugars becomes quite difficult.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, see and understand that as I am accepting negative emotions I am also accepting the physiological affects it has on the body and thus am making the management of the body and doing what is best for the body within the disease of diabetes much harder and difficult
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for the emotions that I go through and support myself to remove those emotions as fast as possible so that I do not cause unneeded consequences for the body within taking care of the body within diabetes
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take the proper steps needed when waking up high with/as a feeling of apathy or lethargy via breathing, giving the body the water it requires within that moment and slowly but surely building up the momentum to start moving myself within the day - in this I commit myself to breathing when I wake up high and there is that feeling of being lethargic or lazy moving myself slowly and calmly to start the day - grab a glass of water and give the body the water that it needs within that moment and in this sit down with the body to not exert too much energy and relax with the body for a while, stabilizing myself within the body -breathing and applying self forgiveness for any movements of lethargy, apathy, or a general feeling of laziness within that moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to roam around in the mind when waking up with a high blood sugar, like wake up and then sit there within the mind and allow the thoughts of apathy and lethargy move where I am creating this resistance towards moving myself in the morning due to the thoughts of apathy and lethargy and a general negative emotional experience and in this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to flag that point of sitting in bed thinking about how I do not want to do anything and just be lazy so that I can give myself the opportunity to correct this point rather than sitting in bed and continue to think and try and fall asleep again
I commit myself to when/as I find myself waking up and the body feels like it has a high blood sugar and I am sitting there within the body and within the mind thinking about how I do not want to get up and start the day, I stop, I breathe, I take note of the thoughts that are moving around and I stabilize myself within the body and commit myself to stop the thoughts because I realize that allowing myself to stir within the mind, circling around thoughts about not getting up, or about resisting starting the day or like thoughts about sabotaging myself in someway is not going to support the body in stabilizing the blood sugar and it is not something that I, in self honesty, want to live within the day - I mean the feeling of having high blood sugar alone is reason enough to get out of bed and correct the point
I will again, continue to walk this point/system within my daily living and explore what happens in/as the moment I correct the blood sugars - like what happens to the mind and also what happens to the body when/as I correct the mind and the relationships between the two.
