Thursday, March 27, 2014

Day 12 - Stabilizing Emotions Stabilizes Diabetes

I find that most of us diabetics are very emotional people and can react quite easily to something someone says to us about diabetes which they may not be entirely informed upon, or we are limited in some aspect within our realities due to a point regarding diabetes such as insurance or benefits or time scheduling or travelling - I mean when I was a teenager a friend introduced me to hitchhiking and I became quite attracted to hitchhiking or the idea of it - then I took a look at the point of diabetes and saw that it was not possible because I had diabetes. I then became very depressed and frustrated because I realized in that moment that diabetes was going to be a limitation upon my life and I simply couldn't do some of the things that I would want to do - so most of us diabetics are going to, at some point in our lives, face the reality that we have diabetes and that it is going to limit our lives, stop us from doing what we would like to do at times, and cause us to deal with the moronic lines of red tape.

Not only that, but we are also faced with challenges on a daily basis, you know, we have to make sure what we are doing, each day, is in alignment with care and consideration of diabetes so that we do not end up in a consequential outcome due to not paying attention to what the body is saying or what is going on in relation to sugar and insulin intake. I mean, for the most part, diabetes is certainly a struggle within ones life and I find that this struggle starts to define us, it starts to manifest emotions towards diabetes and the belief that this is too difficult to deal with and thus we then become emotional and then direct ourselves from emotions which becomes consequential in itself. For example within diabetes we must face lows and highs and each of these things has effects on the body, from my experience, the same results but different effects. Like with lows the body feels weak and tired and the brain is not moving at the rate that it could move - this makes comprehending information difficult and as well as processing - with highs the body feels sluggish and , for me, the breathing becomes laboured and I can feel the sinuses start to react when there is too much sugar in the body - those are the different effects - the results are the same though. With both highs and lows, from my experience, I find that I do not want to do anything within/during or after the high or low. Like I will go low, feel weak and tired and confused, then I will bring myself out of that low and still remain within the emotion of apathy because I will not want to do anything after that, I will not want to direct myself, I would not want to do homework, I would not want to work, I would not want to do any task in which the word responsibility would be associated to and I would basically sabotage myself because of the emotion of apathy in relation to being low. With highs it is the same thing. I will end up going high and feel sluggish and tired and have this ill feeling throughout the entire body resulting in myself going into the emotion of apathy and not wanting to do anything while I am high and waiting for the sugar to come back down after correction and again this is self sabotaging because I then limit what it is that I can/cannot do within being high or low - stating that I am high and therefore I am allowed to do nothing for a while and not direct myself for a while leading to consequences that we essentially do not want for ourselves but accept through/as the movement of emotions within ourselves related to diabetes. What happens after this is that since I am doing nothing and being lazy after the high or low is treated I will then make it much harder for myself to manage diabetes because there is nothing that the body is doing physically to help/support the transfer of sugar and blood flow within the body - so like within this, I've noted that if I am really unwilling to move myself within a day, like if I feel depressed or if I feel apathetic during a day the sugar levels are really difficult to maintain a balance within - and thus it becomes much harder to keep a stable sugar level

So that is a synopsis of how emotions can affect diabetes and how if emotions are allowed to direct ourselves while living with diabetes we are certainly making diabetes MUCH more difficult than what it already is . I am here writing to say that these emotions don't need to exist, they don't need to direct us or affect how we take care of ourselves within diabetes, and through walking oneself out of the emotions existent within diabetes and related to movement of sugar levels diabetes becomes much more stable because one is then making sure that self is stable within themselves in relation to emotions/feelings related to diabetes and then that transfers over to diabetes itself which is a very cool thing to notice

Walking a process to stop emotions isn't always easy, especially when it is related to a physical illness such as diabetes and it will take work and effort and a realization from self that when one is high, to not react to being high, simply correct and trace back the steps one took to lead to that high. I know that some are like anomalies, they do not fit any pattern that one has found previously, but the point here is to not take that point and create an emotion out of it, it is to make sure that one can understand what is going on in the body at that time and then do some research about what is going on so that one is able to correct the pattern. With this example if one was to react with emotions in regards to being high, I know I have often, one just creates an additional problem to that problem that one is facing in regards to the physical body within diabetes so it makes it harder to understand the initial problem and one doesn't even want to look at the initial problem because one has become emotional in the first place

With waling myself within emotions related to diabetes I have found that the blood sugar control is a lot better, in this the main thing that I have accepted in the fact that I HAVE DIABETES lol, and that I am going to have to live with it for the rest of my life so best to align myself to effective care than to deny facing the point of diabetes and working with it. Like, when I was first diagnosed I fucking hated diabetes, I didn't want to live with it, I wanted my `old` life back where I could do what I wanted when I wanted to do it, eat what I wanted when I wanted to eat it, be `free` so to speak from a life of limitation and a life of having to jump through hoops to get what I need to survive, so this is, I find, the main point in relation to diabetes and allowing emotions to run/direct oneself with care for self within the point of diabetes

In the next few blogs I am going to take a few emotions that I go through and walk a process within them in relation to stopping the emotions when/as they come up - directing the emotions and then directing myself to effective care and support for myself within diabetes so that I am able to create more of a point of stability within myself as I walk my life of diabetes. In addition I will write about the points that most diabetics will face in their lives in relation to taking care of self within the point of diabetes and write out support processes for myself as I walk these points myself, and use the body as a cross-reference for how I am supporting myself

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