Day 9 - Separating Myself From Experiences

Last night was thanksgiving dinner and I went to my uncle's to meet with my family. As we sat around and chatted I started chatting with another uncle of mine and as we were chatting we were eating nachos and dip. As I was eating the nachos and dip I was thinking about what I was eating and that I needed to do insulin for what I was eating and check my bg reading. I did not do that because as the consideration of checking and injecting insulin came to mind I didn't want to separate myself from the experience of communicating with my uncle. I didn't want to stop taking with him and focus on something else which would have been injecting insulin and considering how much I ate at that moment and what I would have been eating at dinner…I didn't want to take myself out of the conversation at that moment, like stop talking and `cut off` the conversation so that I could check the bg reading and inject insulin for what I ate. It took me far too long to bring myself back here from the experience of being with the family and talking so that I make the decision within myself to go check and inject insulin for what I ate and when I did check I was 10.0mmol/l which isn't that high but it certainly could've been corrected before it got to 10.0mmol/l

Another example of myself not wanting to separate myself from an experience in order to take care of myself with diabetes was when I was having coffee with a friend after going to thanksgiving dinner. And as I was talking with him I was having a coffee with sugar added to it and I was considering the insulin that I injected for supper and if it would cover the sugar that I added to the coffee. I decided that the insulin was going to cover the sugar primarily due to the reason that I had left the meter and insulin in the car and didn't want to again separate myself from the conversation, tell my friend that I had to leave for a moment and go check and inject insulin if I needed it, I wanted to keep the conversation flowing, keep up the topic that we were talking about and not create a stop in the experience that I was having. When we were done I checked and I was 11.7 and did 3R to correct the high, but again, I could have caught it earlier if I were to separate myself from the experience of communicating with my friend and bring myself back here with myself and not rely on the experience

This has happened for a while throughout the time that I have had diabetes, where I have neglected myself in order to experience something with people or by myself wherein I will sit and watch a movie and forget about testing at the times of the day that I normally test.

Obviously doing this is not best for health reasons, and it is to understand who I am within the moments where I am neglecting my health for experiences.

I used to fear that other people would judge me for having diabetes and feared that they would not understand me having to prick my finger with a needle and draw blood, and that used to be a reason for myself neglecting taking care of diabetes. It is not the same this time because when I was within the experiences at dinner there wasn't any fear of judgement from another person because they were my family and are aware that I have diabetes, and as I am alone watching a movie or playing a video game it isn't about judgment either, it is more about the experience of the situation from energy and not wanting to pull myself away from that experience in order to test the blood sugar or to inject insulin or to eat food if I am low.

So within this it is separating myself from the experience of whatever I am doing, taking myself away from a movie, stopping a conversation if need be, stepping outside, leaving someone alone for a while so that I can give myself proper care.

In the next posts I will write Self forgiveness on separating myself from experiences and giving proper care to myself without fear of being alone, or fear of conflict, and giving myself what I need to give myself regarding care and treatment of diabetes.

If you're unfamiliar with self forgiveness and the process of self forgiveness I suggest to visit http://lite.desteniiprocess.com and walk the free course that is offered there with free buddy support to give yourself and understanding of what the self forgiveness process is.

Day 8 - Does Managing Diabetes Take 14 Hours a Week?

This post is inspired by a disability fund here in Canada in the time of tax refunds. There is a portion of the tax refund that states that if you have a disability you can get some money back with an income tax return. Diabetes is specifically on that list but it states that in order for a disability to be valid one must be in a fatal state, need constant attention, or with diabetes specifically, it states that the care and support that one provides themselves with must add up to 14 hours a week and this 14 hours must be `tangible`. Meaning that the time it takes me to record the bg results each day, count carbs, test for the bg results must take me 14 hours or more which does not take me 14 hours a week therefore with all `tangible` evidence I nor most other diabetics are able to receive this tax refund for the disability that is diabetes.

This post is about the time that it takes to manage diabetes, the time that diabetics must be aware of themselves regarding diabetes and it is much more than 14 hours a week. Diabetes is something that is on our minds, something that concerns us every waking hour, something that we must factor in within all of our activities, something that limits us from doing what we would like, something that limits us financially. Diabetes is not something that takes 14 hours a week of our life, it takes our entire lives.

Diabetes is a dis-ease of the endocrine system and the endocrine system is the system that regulates homeostasis throughout the body through process of specific functions. The Pancreas is the organ that regulates blood sugar through various processes. In diabetics the pancreas either doesn't or has limited capability of regulating the blood sugar. Since blood runs throughout your body it is going to affect the entire body when/as the pancreas isn't operational and thus diabetics must consider the entire body within their actions, must consider the consequences and affects of all choices that we make in a day and whether or not it is going to affect the blood sugar or affect any other part of the body through/as the movement of blood. Within this there are many times within a day that I/we must keep in consideration our actions, we must decide how much insulin we need based on any exercise that we are doing, we must calculate whether or not we need food before the exercise, we must consider if we have injected our basal rate insulin before we've done the exercise, whether or not that amount of basal rate is going to have `too much` of an affect if we exercise and whether or not it will cause a low. And If we are unsure of all these things, which many of the times we are, we need to expect the `worst`, expect a low, expect a high and always keep food and insulin on ourselves so that we can keep ourselves alive and `healthy`

Diabetes doesn't only affect our health, it affects our lifestyles as well. It affects the choices and decision that we must make regarding our jobs, our education, our relationships, our geographical locations. For example, when I decided to go back to school to get the credits I needed for university; diabetes was my main concern, it was also my main limitation. Since the job that I had has benefits which helps out extensively with paying for insulin, meters, test strips, needles, I needed to keep the job. I had to switch to nights so that I could attend school. If I didn't have diabetes I would've stopped working and focused on school full time, but I needed to have the money for diabetes which meant that it was a limitation on the choices that I was able to make regarding school and further education. I am confident that I am not the only example of this.

Again, within work I must consider so many changes in the day/year/month/minute and calculate what the body needs within that moment because there are a lot of factors that are going to influence the blood sugar, I mean even a climate change from winter to summer affects the rate of insulin sensitivity that I must recalculate each time the weather changes, and even if it is a cold cloudy day within the fall it is going to change and I must calculate that each time that I eat and inject insulin. If the calculations are not correct or if it is the beginning of a season I must be aware of myself within whatever I am doing which means that I must separate myself from the experience of socializing, or separate myself from the experience of watching a movie, separate myself from whatever I am doing within that moment and bring myself back here with the body and check up on it to see if what I have calculated is accurate, see if I am going low, see if I am running high and then accordingly adjust the calculations and make the corrections needed within that one moment.

This process is so redundant that when I asked my endocrinologist if she would `co-sign` or be the representative for myself within the tax refund she said that she would `look` at it, but had high doubts that it would follow through because she has `tried` before with other patients only to have the government deny the request for the disability refund.

Another perspective within this is when I was 14 previous to being diagnosed my life was basically being set out in absolution. Meaning that who I was when I was 14 I was basically going to live for the rest of my life. Who I was when I was 14 was a slacker, I already had the conditioning to be a person who goes out and drinks every night, who only looks for their `next high`. I would have had done `nothing` with my life other than party and indulge in sex, masturbation, drugs, alcohol, I had no aspirations to do anything `worth while` in my life. When I was diagnosed with diabetes all that changed immediately, and my `life` in that regards was destroyed because of diabetes…I am not complaining the slightest about that change. I am grateful for diabetes in that respect because looking at it now, I would not like to have been what I was becoming in those years and am much more `happy`/ satisfied with who I am now.

Just because the tangible evidence of recording glucose readings and testing and carb counting does not add up to 14 hours within a week does not mean that diabetes does not take up 14 hours a week of our life. It in fact takes up out ENTIRE LIVES, it destroys our life for the better or for the worse and we must change ourselves to adapt to diabetes so that we can take care of ourselves, change our diets, change our habits of that which will affect the endocrine system, watch our stress levels, stop ourselves from stressing ourselves out, and each of these things takes time. Consider taking out all sugar from your diet, all things that have sugar in them, bread, milk, crackers, cereals…the list goes on, and managing the reactions that your going to go through by stopping sugar within your diet because you have diabetes. It limits what we can do, no scuba diving because if we go low under the ocean we probably won't be able to surface fast enough to treat the low with food, no sporadic travelling because we must plan everything out before hand so that we know that we have what we need to support ourselves, no living in the woods because we are reliant on hospitals and medications from pharmacies, you get the picture.

It is an absurdity that the government has the audacity to suggest that diabetes must take 14 hours a week of our life in order to receive a financial benefit for having diabetes when the medications and test strips when taking proper care of ourselves are above $500CDN a month without insurance (I've been there). It is absurd that our doctors are not even willing to push this point for us because they find it redundant and a `waste of time`.

Diabetes does not take 14 hours a week, It takes OUR LIVES!

Day 7 - Type 1 Diabetes and Environmental Stimulus

I spoke to my doctor's assistant a while ago when I was getting a check up and creating a new pattern of testing to find out when I am going low at work and how to adjust the insulin that I inject and I asked her about a pattern that I noticed regarding climate. I asked her what is the biological difference within the body regarding summer climates and winter climates because I have noticed for a while that during the hotter months of the year I do not need nearly as much insulin as I do in the winter months.

I noticed that pattern a few years ago but I had to wait years to prove or disprove the theory and it is clear that climate change does have an effect on diabetes.

Diabetes is a disease of the endocrine system. The endocrine system is responsible for maintaining homeostasis which is defined by internal processes that regulate balance when changes in the external environment occur. For example; the hypothalamus is an organ just under the brain that is responsible for much of the regulation signals that occur within the endocrine system. When it is cold outside and the body becomes cold as well the hypothalamus sends signals to the muscles to start moving rapidly (shivering) and for the hairs on the body to stand on end to trap in body heat. So through the change in the external environment (the cold) the endocrine system reacts to maintain homeostasis of body temperate. Blood glucose levels are involved in the same regulation processes.

When I asked the assistant why it was that there is such a noticeable change in insulin requirements through the winter months and summer months she said that it was due to activity. We are more active in the summer than in the winter but I didn't accept this as fact because within the winter I was still working which is a physical job and was getting/doing about the same amount of physical activity that I was doing in the winter months yet still needed a drastic change in the insulin I injected. Another example was a few weeks ago where the air here was cold and I/the body was cold as well. I had to wear a sweater indoors to keep myself at a comfortable temperature and during that I day I noticed that my body wasn't responding `normally` to the insulin I was injecting; it had less of an effect than it had days earlier and again, there was no change in my physical activity throughout those few days. During the day that I was cold the sun came out for a while and the sun was warm so I decided to sit in the sun. Right before I did that I was 6.3mmol/L and I sat in the sun for maybe 20 minutes. After 45 minutes from the first test I started to feel low so I tested and I was 2.6mmol/L so through sitting in the sun and changing the external environment the insulin sensitivity changed and became very effective. The reason this stuck out to me is because I have not experienced such a rapid drop in sugar levels over 45 minutes before.

It is not only about change in physical activity, it is about the changes in the environment as well and how the body must adapt to the changes in the environment to maintain homeostasis. There are a few scholarly articles regarding diabetes and the effects of vitamin D which we primarily get from the sun and how patients who had a deficiency in vitamin D had higher levels of blood sugar and a higher overall A1C.

http://www.naturalnews.com/041052_vitamin_d_metabolic_syndrome_diabetes.html

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3427202/

It is clear here that changes in the external environment will have an effect on the body's ability to metabolize sugars through the production and effectiveness of insulin and without us considering the environment that we are raising our children within it seems that type 1 will continue to be a mystery as to how it is caused. One thing here though is that it is clear that the environment that we are raising our children within is not in harmony with the body because diseases being created through external environmental stimulus such as type 1 is an indication that what we are doing with ourselves in/as this life is not in harmony with life itself.

Without a proper understanding of how type 1 diabetes is being created and the effects of the environmental stimuli on the body, we will continue to create such diseases because we are not living in consideration and care for of/as the environments that we are living in and raising our children within. And without a proper understanding of ourselves within/as these diseases we are going to give misinformation to those affected by it which can cause harm

Having a look at these instances it is clear that the body responds to the external environment and when we are not caring or living within harmony to/as the environment the body is going to react accordingly which results in diseases such as type 1 diabetes. We are not living here with/as the Earth/the body and therefore it is responding accordingly through diseases within and without. So within this we can conclude that type 1 diabetes is a result of our actions on this planet and within our bodies, a result of a lack of care and consideration for the body/the Earth and the harmony/balance needed to maintain `homeostasis` which is optimal operating conditions within the systems of the body and Earth. We are a long way off from getting to that point of harmony as this disharmony is based on the harm that money creates therefore a new economic model is needed, such as the Living Income Grant, to give us the time to give effective care for life here within the body and Earth so that these diseases stop manifesting due to an imbalance.

In the next post I will look at the point of imbalance within the mind and walk points of Self forgiveness on the imbalance within my own mind and body.

Day 6 - The Systematic Creation of Type 2 Diabetes

It is commonly known by diabetics that type 2 diabetes can be easily `cured` or managed through diet and exercise which can then bring up the question, does a lack in effective diet and exercise cause type 2 diabetes?

Type 2 diabetic's pancreases still produce insulin to counteract the food ingested, but it is usually the fat residing within/as the body that blocks or inhibits the effectiveness of the insulin because it makes it difficult for the insulin to transfer into the muscle cells for use via cellular respiration. Fat is the storage place for sugars and not the usage of/as sugars within the body. The muscle cells are where cellular respiration primarily occur, which is the combustion of glucose molecules into usable forms of energy. The mitochondria within cells are the end point of cellular respiration, and if the mitochondria are producing energy and the muscles are where the most energy is needed then the muscle cells will have high levels of mitochondria. If the body has too much fat then the excess amount of fat is going to inhibit the effectiveness of the insulin produced by the pancreas because it is going to have to work through the fat to get to the muscles, because fat is not where glucose can be used.

With that being said we must look at our diet and lifestyles that we’ve accepted to exist within/as through the acceptance of the movement of ourselves within/as this system and the generation of money. Consider someone who works at a desk job 9-5. They will be most likely driving to work where they will be sitting in a car for x amount of time, getting to their job where they will be sitting at a desk for 8-9 hours a day, they will get home and more or less sit down on a couch or chair and watch TV to unwind from the day. Their day consists of little to no exercise whatsoever, and since there is little to no exercise their bodies are not going to be able to use the glucose/carbohydrates/sugars ingested throughout the day and therefore will store the sugars as fats which can be a cause of diabetes depending on the genetics of the individual and the strength of the pancreas, which boils down to genetics. I say strength of the pancreas here because the pancreas is going to need to be strong in order to produce enough insulin to counteract the food ingested, and without exercise the pancreas is going to need to produce more insulin for an equal amount of food.

Exercise is a great benefit for diabetics. It increases insulin sensitivity because it warms up the body which will cause higher metabolic rates due to the temperature. For example, I work a physical job where I will sweat and increase the heat of the body due to exercise. A few days ago I went to the gym before work and the few days before that I had been pushing myself harder at work which will cause a lasting effect of insulin sensitivity for about 18 hours compounded exponentially through the time that I worked hard and I needed 330g of carbohydrates just to stave off lows which means that I needed to inject no fast acting insulin and only needed the basal rate insulin for the day. Those who do not know how much 330g of carbohydrates is, a banana is roughly 15g which equals to 22 bananas over an 8 hour period which is a lot of damn food when you consider it. Clearly it is obvious then that exercise is going to significantly increase the sensitivity of insulin within type 2 diabetics meaning they most likely will not need as much medication or any if at all. Again though the way that we have designed this system and our lives within work and within our home life is not helping the pandemic that is type 2 diabetes at this point in time. That is why I say it is systematically created because we cannot live without money and if our lives are designed to be without exercise because of the methods and patterns that we need to obtain money from then the problem is existent inherently within/as this system that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist within.

The other point here is diet. Take a look at the foods that we eat, specifically take a look at the foods the children are fed, speaking from a North American perspective here. The granola bars that are packed in lunches for school, the yogurts that are marketed to children, the cereals that are marketed to children, essentially 80-90% of the food geared towards consumption by children have a high amount of sugar within them. So if the parents are unaware and have not been taught effective dieting skills, diet here means the food that we ingest, not diet in regards to losing weight - then they will feed children these foods and nowadays with the level of convenience through mobile devices and computers and television to be entertained from, exercise is something that is severely lacking in their lives therefore diabetes is and will become more of a pandemic. Similarly in the adult life the convenience of fast food restaurants and the high level of carbohydrates and sugars within the foods and drinks available at restaurants and the lifestyle that one must maintain to generate money will again create diabetes to become more of a pandemic.

The Responsibility for this is distributed among men equally, we are all responsible for the lack of care and consideration that we have given the body and the bodily processes that keep us alive, and are all responsible for the creation of these health problems through our acceptance and through our self interest. There are those that are in power and that have `more` of a `say` of what foods are produced and what foods are marketed such as those within the FDA and other food administrative services whom have had a dictatorship over what foods are available for us to consume. Just as we are aware that the consumption of sugar has large side effects, those whom resign within the regulatory food agencies whom regulate the food available to us and who decide what foods will be available to `us` are equally responsible and are equally aware of the effects of sugar and the increase in diabetes. Since we have trusted those within the food regulatory agencies, there is a point of trust that the food that is provided to us through manufacturing processes is `healthy` to an extent and will not cause health problems that significantly decrease the quality of life. The main thing I am stating here is that the food that we are being fed and the food that we are marketed is, at the moment, a significant factor in/as the design of type 2 diabetes and it is clear that type 2 diabetes is not being considered by us living within the systematic design of our lives and money, therefore the `trust` that we have placed in the regulatory agencies is misplaced trust, and we should have never trusted them in the first place, never should have given people who's interests are clearly not aligned within equality the availability to dictate our lives and decide what food we will be fed, because as it is now seen through/as the increase of diabetes, their interest is money and power, not the lives of the beings that they have had dictatorship over.

Type 2 diabetes is a systemic creation through/as the way that we have accepted and allowed this system of/as our lives to operate. Some do not have the time to exercise throughout the day or can get in very little exercise throughout the day due to the design of money. We are brainwashed to crave certain foods through influences within media, such as a craving for ice cream or a fast food restaurant. For myself, I never considered where and how the thoughts of craving came from and were designed from, which as it turns out is a mechanism of the corporations to keep us buying, keep us wanting, keep us paying for their products. Have a look at a craving for McDonalds. Why is that craving there? Why is it a craving for McDonalds? McDonalds is just an idea, like we don't have a craving for a burger or a soda, it is specifically geared towards McDonalds, I have heard people speak "I want McDonalds", not "I want a burger" and then search through the myriad of options on how to obtain a burger. Or you can consider why corporations are such a large financial backing for the media industry.

So, As we look at the reasons and factors behind of and as type 2 diabetes one can see that it is due to our accepted and allowed structures of our lives based around money. The structure of the system of/as our lives is creating type 2 diabetes. It is imperative then that we implement a system in which life is considered, value of life is considered, quality of life for each being so that type 2 does not become a generational degradation of the human being's quality of life. It is also imperative that we as humans consider the body and consider the foods that the body needs and when the body needs these foods. For instance if one is lacking physical activity within their daily routine it is best to eat vegetables, because when I am not active, especially during the winter, the insulin sensitivity of the body dramatically decreases and I need more insulin to cover an equal amount of food I would eat if it were summer.

The solution here is within and without. It resides within ourselves and resides within an overhaul of the system we are living. It resides within ourselves through making choices of what we eat based on the body, not based on desires, or wants, or cravings. It resides without through not accepting this system as `just the way things are`, and making the changes necessary to the foods that we are provided through corporations and in this making a stand within ourselves to not allow ourselves to accept a system, accept cravings, accept desires that are not based on the quality of life of/as the body/physical substance

Day 5 - Diabetes and Bi-Polarity

It has come to my attention that within diabetes polarities exist. Look at the relationship between ourselves and diabetes, (those of us who are diabetic), and how we must maintain the highs and lows to maintain homeostasis of the blood sugar, that in itself is based on polarities of our consumption of foods. Polarities also exist within the mind in regards to depression, excitement, sadness, happiness, love, hate etc. It is clear that through my participation within these systems (love, hate) that they too affect the polarity of self and will consequently affect the polarity of the blood sugar. Take for instance stress. Most diabetics know and are aware that stress will affect the blood sugar, but stress is caused within the mind. Through taking a grade 12 university biology course, stress affects the livers production of glucagon which breaks down into glucose because of the adrenal glands production of glucocorticoids, and the adrenal glands are active during stress because of the fight or flight response. Now since stress exists only within the mind and has affects on the physical systems of the body it can then be said that depression can, as well, affect the systems of the body, same with love, same with hate, same with anger, same with depression, it is only understanding how, where, and the triggers of said emotions.

What we as diabetics need to see, be aware of, and live responsibility within/as is maintaining homeostasis within the body and within the mind. Homeostasis is the best operating range or state to exist within. If we allow ourselves to become too happy then we are most likely subject to binges, subject to excitatory reactions within the mind and from what I've seen within myself, that is when I can think about consuming large amounts of sugar and essentially say "fuck it, why not, I'm happy" and then I binge out on sugar and more often than not, allow myself to go hyperglycemic. This also relates to sadness wherein I've consumed sugar when I am sad, consumed high caloric foods or high sugar foods to make myself `feel good` - looking at that now it is a fascinating mechanism because the only thing that `feels good` in that moment is taste. Consuming sugar doesn’t allow myself to face what is making myself sad, nor does it make myself not feel sad, it is only used as a mechanism to not face the sadness that I was/am going through and to suppress the sadness. A fascinating thing with sugar is its relationship to happiness and how the human, through parental upbringing, is exposed and systematically influenced to create this relationship between self and sugar. Within this relationship we can see the polarity existent between the relationship of sugar and self and the affects of the polarities of the mind on the polarities of the body regarding homeostasis within blood glucose.

As a child I had this relationship to sugar, where I would want sugar, demand sugar, throw tantrums if I did not get sugar, in order to manifest an experience of being `happy`, most likely because of the sugar high, but with that being said, if I was sad or upset sugar was commonly used as a method to `uplift` my mood in which the relationship between sugar and myself was created - again basing it around the polarities and consistently wanting a high

Diabetics then have a responsibility to maintain our emotions and feelings and to not allow them to be the directive principle of ourselves, although we have already allowed that to happen due to the manifestation of diabetes and the want for highs (happiness and sugar), and our allowance of ourselves to go out and buy and consume something sugary or look for happiness in other places, there is also degeneration of genetics, but sugar and the want for happiness is the catalyst for the disease. In this, and as I am writing this, I see how I am heavily influenced by positivity and attempt to avoid negativity to an nth extent wherein I will consume sugar and use substances that will chemically alter my brain to not have to feel anything other than `good`, but in the laws of polarities, the good must always come with the bad, so therefore within wanting good I am also wanting bad so that I can maintain the experience of going/being high vs a low.

The point of responsibility here sits within our life and how to direct our life and how to give effective care of the body in maintaining homeostasis and if our emotions and feelings are frequently allowing ourselves to compromise our care for ourselves then the emotions must be understood and we must forgive ourselves for becoming subjects to our emotions/wants/feelings and decide to direct ourselves within what is best for our bodies regardless of emotions and feelings and desires. This certainly can be a difficult thing to work within and live responsibility for, but what is nice is that it is left to our choice of what we will accept and allow within ourselves or not, therefore we are the directive principle on how we choose to live our life, and if it is not what is best for all then we only have ourselves to face in the wake of consequence, and only have ourselves to blame in the wake of consequence, therefore need to realize that we are responsible.

The polarities of the mind, for myself, need to be understood and not allowed to influence the body and our ability to take care of the body. I am aware that within consuming sugar, within consuming coffee, consuming cigarettes that I've created a chemical need within the brain and I must, if I am to settle the polarities of myself and the mind, walk through lows within putting an end to the substances that I've abused, and decide to take care of the chemistry of the body and stop fluctuation from highs and lows as best as possible at the moment so that I can gather a strength to direct the mind when/as desires come up so that I am not influenced or directed by them and am able to maintain care for the body.

In the next post I will write out self forgiveness on the relationship to positivity and diabetes.

Sites to check out:

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

http://eqafe.com

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 4 - Living with Diabetes Part 1

In this series of blogs that are to come I will be writing about a point relevant to diabetes that I go through in my day to day living and show how different a lifestyle it can really be, and to show, to the best of my knowledge through living with diabetes, biological functions, that I would be more than pleased to be corrected on, so do not fear leaving a `snarky` comment correcting me, I like to learn more and cross reference material with others; I may expand on such things as insulin, like how it is made, the resources needed to make it, the affects on the environment, monetary factors, and this will be a learning process for myself because much of what I just suggested I may write about I will need to do research as well.

Since this is the intro blog

Let me take you through my day.

Mornings: Wake up at 18:00-19:00, due to working nights in which I have to severely consider how much activity I am doing due to the affects of physical exercise and insulin sensitivity within my body, have to consider how much food I eat…there are many things that I could extrapolate upon in regards to work and diabetes - lets just title that work and leave that there for now.

I proceed to check my blood sugar, usually - have not been the spitting image of `perfect` in regards to diabetes - which again is something to take apart and dissect = the image of perfection within diabetes = perfection of care of health possibly - I'm sorry if I ramble, but as I write this I am noting this for myself later on so that I can refer back to it for topics to write about. And in the mornings I have been frequently high, so as I wake up, I've kinda just accepted this as `the way it is`, and reach for two needles that I have to inject 25 decilitres of one insulin, and depending on how high, or if I'm high, x amount of decilitres of another insulin into either my buttocks, the back of my arms, abdomen, or thighs. I favour the buttocks, thighs, and back of the arms for the insulin I inject 25 decilitres of ( I will go into further detail in time on the different types of insulin) and the abdomen for the insulin that I use depending on how much I eat and what the `level` of (my) sugar is.

I make breakfast, and consider what I will be doing in the following hours based on activity level of what I can and should not eat, and usually say "fuck it, I will eat what I would like to eat and inject insulin according to what I would like to eat", and sometimes all I like to eat in the morning is an apple and a banana. I will then inject insulin based on how much carbohydrates I will eat and what I will be doing in the next few hours and based off of `how I feel` meaning if I feel `heavy` then that usually means that the insulin sensitivity rate is low and I will need more insulin than if I were to not feel `heavy`. I then carry on with whatever task I have for the time being until I get ready for work

Before work I check the sugar again at about 21:30 - it is about 2 hours after my previous test - so that means that the insulin that I injected to correct the amount of food I ate will be at it's `peak activity` which I will explain another time, and since it is at it's peak activity the rate of transfer of sugar into the cells is highest here throughout the 4 hour lasting time of the injection and means that I need to consider if I need to eat before work in order to maintain a level sugar throughout the first period of work or if I need to inject more insulin to get myself to a stable point during work. If all is well then I make a lunch, which I stick to a routine within, meaning I usually eat the same thing each lunch so that I can work with minimal factors influencing the sugar level and stick to a routine that I have become adapted to at the moment.

Work: (23:00-7:00) Since it has become warmer recently I now bike to work that is about 15 minutes of activity which I have to consider how hard I am biking because as I get to work the insulin that I injected when I woke up will change sensitivity and it will affect the sugar level during the first period of work - so I suppose I can mention here that recently I have been going low just before work starts and usually eat a banana to correct it….since I started working nights, and even previously within the job that I do, days that I am not low during work is a rarity and I always carry 3 bananas with myself along with `emergency sugar` which is a candy that I will bring along because of the pattern shown throughout the time that I have been working. Since the job that I do is physically demanding I have to keep in mind when I've injected insulin and how much I've injected, like .5 of a unit will make a drastic change in the sugar level throughout the next period of work, and since it is physically demanding I need to cut back the amount of insulin that I would normally inject, which took a bit of time to figure out how much I needed to inject for the food that I ate, which is why I stick to the food routine. The sugar levels during work are usually in the `acceptable range` (4mmol-8mmol) and I suppose that is due to the physical activity and the balancing of sugar correction throughout the periods of work. A point to mention here, that I will write about later, is the affect of adrenaline and noticing the symptoms of being low.

Getting home/school: (7:00-12:00) When I get home the sugar level is normally good because of the work that I just did and the affects of activity, although there have been times where I have been high returning from work which I do not exactly know the reason for, but have based it on the fact that I slow down my activity during work near the end of the night. I test my blood sugar and only eat something small like an apple because when I did eat cereal or something high in carbohydrates the time during school I would be running high for a while and correcting the sugar during school has been a pain in the ass for sometime because if I am high and I need to correct the sugar, the affect of dropping in sugar level is similar to the experience of being low and I find it incredibly hard to concentrate when this is happening, so I decided to eat something small which I normally don't need insulin for, because of the activity of work, which has been supportive recently since I do not experience too many lows during school any longer and thus can concentrate a lot better, not to mention give myself the ability to process the information. During school I inject 23 decilitres of insulin again. I used to be very self conscious about injecting insulin in front of people to the point where I would not inject insulin when eating if I was in public which was quite dangerous now looking at it.

When I get home from school, I test again, eat, inject insulin and sit down for about 2 hours studying if I need to or fall asleep. Eating so early to bed has been a problem and is most likely the cause to the morning highs, although I have noticed some other factors that can really influence the sugar level in the morning such as stress or simply resistance to working on something.

In the next posts I will certainly go into much more detail and take apart many aspects of a diabetic life and expand on the relationship lines between each aspect, but for now I hope that this overview gives you an insight into what a diabetic lives with and has to consider on a daily basis, and possibly information that you can apply to your own life.

Day 3 - Why do I Need Math?

In the math course that I am taking I had to ask myself where and how am I able to apply this math and why do I need this math if I am not going into a math program in university but a science program in university - and where in my life am I able to effectively use this information, or when am I ever going to use the information that I am learning in my life and the answer was staring me in the face which is diabetes

So within the Math course that I am taking we are learning how to factor polynomial equations, how to solve equations, how to create the equations out of word problems, how to graph the equations etc, and for the most part I cannot see a relevant point in my life where graphing would come into play and I cannot yet see the entire applicability of the understanding of the equations and the ability to factor the equations to solve for x or to simplify the equations to get to the main factors that are making up the equation, but in looking at the word factor it is easy to take this approach to diabetes and sugar levels where within a day there are many many many factors in play, such as insulin sensitivity, insulin dosage, insulin types, exercise, stress, foods, types of foods like fats or carbs or fibre that will either increase or decrease the rate of break down and absorption of sugar, emotional responses, depression, anxiety, sleep, positivity, socialization, negativity, anger…those are all the ones off the top of my head, but I'm sure there's more - anyways, all of those factors can and do influences the blood glucose level during each day. So like Stress+Fatty Food+Exercise+Long acting insulin+6 units of Short acting insulin = 9.8mmol/l - its obviously not that simple in regards to the addition or subtraction equation because many factors affect and influence the other factors and can make the other factors stronger or weaker causing sugar to rise or lower during the day and what this math is useful for is being able to factor out a factor that may be causing the blood sugar to be high during regular times of the day or causing the sugar to be low during regular times of a day - and in this find out an appropriate equation including all the factors to best be able to control blood sugars and keep them as stable as possible throughout ones life.

This is beyond my capability within math at this point but nonetheless there is no excuse for myself to understand and apply this math because I can use it to my benefit by creating a daily equation of what to do and when to do it based on factors that raise or lower the blood glucose levels - which most type 1 diabetics do when calculating how much insulin to inject during specific times of the day when the carb to insulin unit ratio varies between the times of the day. And in starting to understand this math and start to really apply myself in this math I can start to better myself by making the injections mathematically supported instead of a guessing game which I am essentially doing now - meaning guessing how much the exercise that I've done will affect me and thus guessing how much insulin to inject for the food that I ate during before or after exercising, but by recording the factors that I go through that have been proven to influence the sugar levels and factoring out the sugar levels or increasing or decreasing specific types of insulin at specific times of the day when/as those factors are present I can create an equation of how to best keep the sugar levels stable as those factors are present

I started to see this better as I was visiting the endocrinologist that I see, and as we were looking at the highs and low patterns and what was possibly influencing the readings she suggested decreasing or increasing types of insulin during those times of injection prior to injecting the insulin and changing around the equation of the insulin meaning changing the times and amounts of injections to best support myself when waking up or during work or while at school etc, and the way that I see this is a simplistic form of managing myself in diabetes because, especially during exercise, the sugar levels and insulin sensitivity dramatically changes and has been a struggle for myself to keep `level` as I exercise or work due to the dramatic change in insulin requirements during those specific times and I've also had difficulty finding the correct insulin dosage amounts prior to working or exercising because within an hour of rest the insulin sensitivity can change and if I do not work as hard as I worked near the end of the shift the amounts of insulin that I need when I get home and eat a meal change drastically. That being said giving self self awareness within the factors that are influencing the sugar levels is best for support and to give self that awareness the thoughts/emotions/feelings within the mind need to be eradicated as I've shown myself many times before that by allowing myself to entertain myself for a few moments I quickly forget to inject the basal rate insulin at the regular time and thus cause the sugar level to be affected differently at different times of the day/night

So when one has diabetes, math is an important subject to understand and apply at the level of factors and factoring out factors and finding factors and creating equations based on factors and sometimes unknowns so that one can create an equation for self based on ones owns needs and requirements of insulin and/or exercise etc, that include what to do when specific factors are involved in the resulting sugar levels. Essentially I wrote this because I've had a resistance to math and have struggled in the past course in math and so this is a point of motivation for myself to start to apply it in my daily living instead of simply seeing numbers on the board and only knowledge of the methods and ways to manipulate the equation to find the factors within the equation

Day 2 - Should we Trust Nutrition Labels?

As a type 1 diabetic I rely on the nutrition food labels to be accurate and concise with the information that they put on the nutrition labels and I, in some ways, need to trust that information is correct on all packages and foods, but I've found that this is not the case on all foods…there is only one instance that I've found so far that the information is misleading, but I am sure that there are more - specifically with the foods being labelled "organic" or "Healthy"

 

There is a bread that I use to make sandwiches for lunches and on the nutrition label it says "per 1 piece (40g) there are 20g of carbohydrates in each slice". This information I need to rely upon to calculate an accurate amount of insulin that I need to inject to counteract the sugar being processed in the body from the metabolizing of the carbohydrates. This bread is a bread that is descending in size throughout the package, so like there are pieces that are larger and there are pieces that are smaller than the previous one.

In order to be much more accurate I decided to buy a scale a few months ago and start to actually weigh the food that I was eating so that I could be as accurate as possible - using the weight rather than the serving size - because like with boxes of macaroni it says per 1/4 box = 60g of carbs, so I mean how do I accurately measure 1/4 of a box or estimate what 1/4 of a box is, so weighing the food that I was eating made the calculations much more accurate because I could divide the amount of food that I was eating by the serving size in g written on the nutrition label and multiply that by the amount of carbs in each serving size in grams. So back to the bread - I started to weigh out the bread and found that each time I weighed the bread, each reading was far over 80g (2 slices), the highest reading I found the bread to weigh was 150g which is nearly double what the nutrition labels says each slice weighs and thus nearly double the amount of carbohydrates in those 2 slices of bread.

Before then I did not have a scale and was still using this bread for sandwiches for lunch as work, and this could have severely fucked with the sugar levels and insulin injections throughout work - luckily though my work is a physical job and during that time I was finding the right amount of insulin to inject because of the effect of the amount of exercise the job has on the bodies sensitivity to insulin, so I had to deduct insulin from the injection due to the physical exercise - but there were times when I would have this bread on the weekends or on days when I was not physically active and inject 4 units of insulin for the 2 slices that I was eating, basing my injection off of the information on the nutrition label - my carb to unit ratio is roughly 10g/1u - when really I needed was 150/40=3.75 3.75*20=75 <- 7.5 units of insulin for the 75g of carbs in those slices of bread, and thus this would cause my sugar levels to go higher than I had expected due to the misinformation printed on the nutrition labels, …each unit of insulin reduces the sugar level by 2mmol/l so each 10g of carbs increases the sugar level by 2mmol/l which  escalated the sugar an extra 7mmol/l above my target when calculating an accurate amount of insulin to inject for what I was eating, and if you didn't know, 7mmol/l is a drastic difference in blood glucose.

So then the question is posed can we as a society trust the information printed on nutrition labels? From this example the answer is no, No because there, more or less, is always a motive behind the labels or within/as the labels themselves defined in the word `nutrients`. This bread that I gave as an example is defined as a `healthy` bread and from the starting point of wanting to look and be perceived as `healthy` they do not give accurate information - they only give accurate information on the smallest slice of bread in the package - Why? To make it look healthy, to lower the carb counts and the calorie count in on the information presented, but this improper use of the information on the nutrition labels can have severe affects on those whom are diabetic, or whom have other food illnesses, such as celiac disease where one much look at the ingredient list for any substance that has wheat or wheat based additives, and there has been times where the information printed on the ingredient label is deceiving as well, I know this because my mother has celiac disease and when she consumes gluten she throws up violently for a few hours - meaning she has bought products that has no ingredient listed on the list that has gluten in it, yet from eating that product she has reacted in such a manner, physically proving that there was in fact gluten on in the product

The entire point behind the misinformation and mislabeling of nutrition labels or food labels is due to money, for the example with the bread, the company wants to market their product as healthy and for those who are `health nuts` to buy this bread. The company clearly has enough wherewithal to understand that their consumers will be looking at the nutrition label for the `indicators` of the product being healthy such as a low calorie number or low carbohydrate number and thus accordingly only place the `1 slice serving` as the smallest piece of bread in the package allowing the label to be `acceptable`  with the lowest numbers possible yet, quite misleading and quite dangerous for those who rely heavily on and need to trust that the information presented is accurate.

 

What is the solution here? The solution would to `govern` the labels much more severely and put the labels through much more testing before they are allowed to be placed on the product. The solution would to eradicate the point of profit from the companies so that instances like this do not cause harm to life as it has with myself and with any other diabetics who are unaware of this fact, remove profit because it is from the point of profit and greed that this abuse towards life exists, and this solution is presented with the Equal Money System which can be read further in detail at http://equalmoney.org

I also suggest to read http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2013/03/capitalism-joke-is-on-us-food-labelling.html for more of a perspective on this issue and on the solution presented.

Post #3 - Day 62 Autoimmunity and Diabetes

Post From - (http://paulsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-62-autoimmunity-and-diabetes.html)

"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the information that diabetes is caused by an autoimmune disease without questioning what autoimmunity is and how autoimmunity works, and how the immune system has been designed to act on auto pilot to attack a part of itself that is beneficial to itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be told that diabetes is caused by an auto immune system disorder and leave it at that, not questioning what in fact needs to take place within the body for the immune system to become on auto pilot, and why is it automatically designed to attack the pancreas

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the body works as a system of input and output like all life here on this planet and has specific system information for each part of the body and that for an auto immune system to take place I as creator must have placed information into/as the body through my actions and thoughts in order for the immune system to automatically start to attack the pancreas

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because it has been said that the cause of diabetes is this auto immune disorder that there will be no cure as it is supposedly `just something that happens`, when through my diagnoses I was diagnosed when I was 14 so it had to take 14 years for the `automatic` part of the immune system to take place meaning that it wasn't immediately automatic or I would have been diagnosed much sooner then 14 and that it means that I had done something to trigger the auto immunity within body that sent system coding for the immune system to attack the pancreas

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the people in high places in this world, high places regarding money, want to keep their money and the constant input of money and a cure would mean that they will no longer have money coming in from diabetics to support their lives, jobs, and companies, so a cure would not be in the best interest of all those employed within the diabetic industry because of the way we have accepted the monetary system to run, and only through implementing and equal money system will we ever see a cure developed for anything that currently exists that makes money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that only through our being within our minds does the body in fact run on auto-pilot because if we had to in fact control everything in the body we would immediately die from not being here with the body, in this that the auto-pilot is designed within the body for the best functions of the body and only through our input as foods and thoughts and our treatment of the body do we alter the functions of the body to not be what is in fact best for the body, in this causing the body to harm itself due to the programmed functions, meaning that illness and dis-ease is caused by what we have done within the body and not necessarily because of the body itself. In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the awareness to see in self-honesty how I as the body caused what the body has become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see the correlation within my thoughts of basically flagellation and the auto immune system disorder that attack the body, wherein my thoughts often lead to self-judgment and harm and a beating up on myself for being, and in this not realizing that this would have a massive impact on the body overtime and that over time it would then train the body to harm itself for being, as shown through autoimmune destruction of the pancreas, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider all factors within this reality that would be a possibility for dis-ease to exist, and to only chalk up the diagnoses to one simple cause as an auto immune disorder

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diagnose dis-ease when I in fact have no idea how reality in fact functions, on how the interplay between all aspects of reality affect reality to exist the way it does, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diagnose a dis-ease from the information and knowledge that I have been taught and searched for not realizing that information and knowledge is in fact useless and only a blind onto how reality in fact functions as the cooperation between all beings to exist, in this not understanding the cooperation between all beings in existence, nor the intricate communication between each down to the smallest point in the physical existence equal and one with the largest point of existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a human believe that I am above all other beings because I have knowledge and information about how reality works, but not a equal and one understanding as myself of how reality in fact works, and that the understanding of reality is in separation within the mind as information and knowledge when that is in fact not understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the industry that is in control of the medication of this reality is also in control of the food in this reality and that diabetes is a disease that needs to be monitored through food and medication and that there can be manipulated self-interest here where the food that we input will eventually require medication to stabilize the body because this money system works within the possibilities of this interaction and the human greed is enough to manipulate the system to get it to this point where food will cause requirements for medication as shown through type 2 diabetes where diet is easily the cure for type 2 diabetes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a system to exist where there is a mediator between what is accepted and food and what is accepted as medication that is under the same control of the same agency meaning that it is in it's best interest the manipulate the food that is consumed to make money off of consumers later on through causing dis-ease where on would then need to buy medication to continue to live causing the agency that monitors the food and drugs permitted in this system to make a lot of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for the interactions that I have permitted within the body through my abdication of being here with the body, and in this not taking responsibility, separate myself from the body from standing equal and one with the body allowing myself to not see what I have been doing to the body as the creator of the body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use myself as a point to investigate in looking at all the points within myself prior to being diagnoses with diabetes, and see what in fact took place before I was diagnosed that could lead to the point of the immune system attacking the insulin producing cells in the body, of whether it was diet, whether it was thought manifestation, whether it was a combination of variables within reality, and in this find the source to the cause of the system dis-ease that leads to diabetes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to opportunity to clearly investigate why and how the immune system decides to attack the pancreas to stop it producing insulin which is a beneficial hormone for the body  to function `normally` and in this to not investigate all environmental factors as to what happened in each case of a diabetic that lead to the immune system to be programmed into attacking the pancreas to stop producing insulin

I commit myself to investigate the points within myself prior to being diagnoses with diabetes as to what environmental factors and self-behaviours that lead to the manifestation of the dis-ease of diabetes

I commit myself to standing for all diabetics and people with dis-ease in their life through support of the equal money system wherein profit is not the motive of life, but life being the motive of life wherein cures are then able to exist because there will not be profit motive behind the continuation of dis-ease and illness

I commit myself to walking myself backwards in time and establishing an effective communication with the body in how I in fact created the dis-ease that is diabetes within myself and how to properly stand in the place of the pancreas to be the best support that I can be for the body

I commit myself to not simply accept that the cause for diabetes is an auto-immune disorder that is just because it is, and to commit myself to investigate exactly what happened in my life that lead to the immune system automatically deciding for itself to attack the pancreas, and what information I input into the body that would lead it to end up attacking the pancreas."

Post #2 - Day 56 - Diabetes pt 2 The Burden

Post from (http://paulsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-56-diabetes-pt-2-burden.html)

"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed diabetes to become a burden on my life, wherein I have created a relationship to testing blood and injecting insulin as a task that I must do every day multiple times a day, as task that is separate from me, a task that I do not want to commit myself to, allowing myself to skip doing this task every once and a while because I would rather act in self-interest that do the testing and maintain the sugar levels that I have to maintain

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see diabetes as a burden which I have to maintain and take care of myself within, in this placing the burden as something that I have to do, instead of standing equal and one to the point and living the will to care for myself as a diabetic the best way possible in being diligent at checking the blood sugar, and doing the injections daily and on time within the routine that works best for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing that I am a diabetic and that my actions now are going to have consequences later on in my life which will or will not make the point of diabetes `worse` from the perspective of having to deal with other issues related to the lack of care for myself as a diabetic

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within self-interest still and live a life that is comfortable for only me wherein I live within the fort of my self-interest and create myself as a perceived island, because as a diabetic I will die, from what evidence has been shown, earlier than most in life, and in this not give a fuck about myself as life because I am going to die `anyways` so why not get the most out of energy while I exist here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within self-interest, wherein I only consider my desires of what I want in this life, ignoring all of life and ignoring what is in fact happening on this planet to/as life, because I see diabetes as a burden, so I made the conclusion that if I must live with a burden I will attempt to find the desire of desires, not realizing that I in the mind am creating the idea of the burden, and that the idea of the burden is simply not real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat the life that has been given to me like shit shown through the manifestation of/as diabetes wherein I continue to allow myself to live within self-interest even though I have proven to myself that living within self-interest while having diabetes is extremely detrimental to the health of the body because the self-interest that I have defined and lived within is eat what you want, do what you want and in this what I wanted has never been what has been best for the body thus I have treated the life that has been given to me with total disregard, and total abuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand as manifested consequence in this lifetime showing humanity that this is what happens when as we live in self-interest and only consider ourselves and not the equality of life which supports all life, wherein all life here in the physical lives in equality where each part is supporting the whole, wherein diabetes has manifested because I have only considered my desires throughout my life and not the equality that the body has lived within and existed as within/as the physical in which has supported itself in equality in order for life to be maintained, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come to this existence and accept this pre-programming where equality of life is not considered wherein each part of existence does its part to support existence, and in this acceptance become a virus to this existence as I have accepted and allowed myself to live in inequality in relation to this world wherein I am not considering the whole and what I as human am a part of the whole and that I have responsibility within/as the whole to do what is best in equality and oneness for/as the whole

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate life because life has supposedly fucked me over with manifesting diabetes, but this hate only comes from the desire to support self-interest in inequality, because the hate stems from having to face the fact that I must let go of self-interest and do what is best for support of the body because I have manifested damage to an organ within the body and I must stand in place for that organ in order to maintain the bodies functionality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard myself as life through ignoring the fact that I have diabetes, ignoring through not checking the blood sugar when I am out nor doing proper insulin when I am out, proper meaning doing insulin for what I eat when I am out and checking the carbohydrates that I am eating when I am out and doing the correct amount of insulin, but in this ignore the fact that I am a diabetic when I feel high, as my hydration depletes and I have to piss a lot, using excuses that I will be fine and that I can manage in this physical discomfort for a while and then check and manage the blood sugar later wherein I am allowing myself to harm myself as life more than what is needed, needed meaning the sugar must go up in the first place and the more meaning not correcting when I first notice that I am dehydrated and pissing a lot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use diabetes as an excuse to not move my life in the direction that I would like to move it in, but in holding as a burden use it as an excuse to keep the life that is here  and accept the life that is here through and as being continuously `put down` wherein I accept the shit that is here because it seems as if I cannot move out of it because it feels like and seems like a burden that lasts forever, not realizing that it is me in and as the relationship that I have developed towards diabetes, being a diabetic that has caused me to look at life this way, in this it is me in relation to life that has allowed me to live this way, thus the creator of all of this burden and `put down` is only but me, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop a relationship with myself where I am continuously putting myself down and holding myself there until I submit to this world/life/existence instead of allowing myself to develop a relationship with myself in where I support myself as life through and as the actions in which support me as life as a diabetic, in this learning how to develop a relationship with myself as life of how to support what is best for life and commit myself to supporting what is best for life as myself wherein I commit myself to eating in the proper way in which supports the body and blood sugar levels, and in which supports the best insulin sensitivity as well as lifestyle that is best for me as a diabetic, changing the lifestyle from desire and self-interest into what is best for life.

I commit myself to stop seeing diabetes as a burden which I have to cope with but instead see it as an opportunity to understand and live what is best for life in every moment in relation to health, eating and lifestyle,

I commit myself to develop an effective relationship with myself wherein I support myself as life using the tool of/as diabetes to create that relationship wherein I create that relationship to do what is best for me no matter what happens in regard to sugar levels, where I am at in this world, or who I am with, wherein I stay constant and consistent in taking care of myself as life within being a diabetic

I commit myself to show what happens in manifested consequence when one decides to live a life of self-interest and desire, and how it can be avoided by realizing and re-aligning self to the equality of life wherein every being does its part to care for existence to care for life.

I commit myself to stopping the self-interest in that which I have been living and commit myself to taking care of myself as life within/as being life and being a diabetic using myself to investigate what in fact supports the body the best in relation to lifestyle, food intake, exercise, removing all information and knowledge of what food is good and what food is bad, and simply seeing what supports the body the best according to lifestyle and the plethora of variables that life consists of."