Friday, November 28, 2014
Day 20 - The Relationship with Being Low and Being Here
For context; I was feeling a bit high when I was leaving to go out grocery shopping, I had a few coffees with sugar before that and I just woke up before that and when I wake up I have been finding that the insulin I inject at that time is not as effective as other times, this is mainly due to, from what I've read, the start up processes of the body where the body creates sugar in the mornings or when self wakes up to give the body a bit of energy so you can start the day; so when I inject insulin in the mornings I've found that it is not as effective. I also had the coffees with sugar so I decided to inject insulin based on those factors in which I did not think that I was going to go low from
As I was driving I was feeling like I was low but there is also something that I like to call a false low which is when the blood sugar is dropping and when that happens you can basically just wait and breathe and eventually the physical feelings of being low will fade away so again I decided to breathe and wait it out and continue on with getting groceries cause I didn't think that I was actually going low
By the time that I got to the grocery store the feelings of being low were still around, I was still not able to concentrate effectively, I was still feeling physically weak so I was starting to plan when/where/how I am going to get sugar, luckily they were offering cookies at the entrance to the grocery store cause it's the holiday season which was quite beneficial for me lol, so when I had the cookie I was like ok, I will wait it out again, wait till the sugar from the cookie is digested and placed into the blood stream and wait to feel better so I continued shopping for groceries.
I went to the produce section first and I was still feeling like shit, still waiting for the cookie to kick in and still thinking/hoping that it would kick in soon enough; it never did, so the blood sugar continued to drop. I didn't think that the low was that bad because usually there is like an experience of fear and worry and stress that signifies a serious low, but in stopping the emotions in that time I was not catching the `seriousness` of the low. The seriousness started to show when my vision started to go and this is where the title of the blog becomes relevant. When I started to lose my vision I was noticing an interesting thing that I have not noticed before - some of the images that I was seeing were carrying over into the next moment as I would move my eyes. So for instance I was starting at this machine that looked like a big pressure cooker and then I looked over towards apples or something and the image of the pressure cooker carried over to the apples and I didn't immediately see the apples, I had to take a step back, clear myself, then take a look again. Now what I noticed about that moment was that I was thinking about the pressure cooker, I was thinking about what it was, what the employees specifically used it for, you know, and then as I stared away the image carried over with it. This same thing happened with a memory where I went off into a memory and then again it was like right here infront of me - more so than it would be if I was `normal` like when a memory comes up it is in front of the `third eye` but one can see the physical reality in front of self, like all physical reality shut out and all I saw was the memory - it was really interesting and I have yet to find a suitable explanation but it seems like the brain didn't have the capacity to fuel both the image of the memory and the physical reality and thus it becomes really dangerous to participate in the mind when going low cause the separation from physical reality is clearly quite detrimental. When I did go into that mind state when the image would carry over I would more so lose my balance cause I was not aware of my physical body, I was not away of the physical reality in/as balance, gravity and stabilization.
What this shows is how much participating in the mind actually separates me from the physical reality, it shows that when I participate in the mind in thought/projection/imagination we severely cut ourselves out from the physical reality, we forget all things around us, we only see the image of the thought, and as I look at it the body does all these things for us, it stays within the physical reality and supports us to be here in the physical reality, meaning that because the body didn't have the energy/fuel to remain here within the physical reality, the second I went into the mind and thought the body quickly struggled to remain physically stable - so herein we have a responsibility for the body and for ourselves to get out of the mind, get out of the thoughts/emotions/feelings that accompany participating in energy within the mind and focus ourselves here on the body and supporting the body equally as it has been supporting us the entire time without us even being aware of it. So in this I mean, I know that I personally do participate a lot in the mind, random thoughts, imaginations etc and I never realized how much the body was actually supporting me in this physical reality unconditionally, how often that, despite my participation in the mind, it was here for me keeping me here, because I mean taking a look at that point, as a resident of the body I have done not much to support it in the physical reality - I have allowed myself to go into the mind and cut myself out from the physical reality and I'm sure that as I do this I am creating consequences for the body - possible needing to expend more energy to remain stable here as it doesn't have support but the opposite rather, cause I am not here as I think or participate in the mind and I am not giving care or support to the body when having physical ailment such as diabetes.
So I will be working on being here more cause it has been a point that I have been looking at recently as there have been more problems with the body that I have been noticing start to heal as I calm myself down within the mind and stop myself from going off into the mind on random tangents.
Overall we have a responsibility to our bodies to give it more support to be here rather than it having to do it solely by itself. I suggest to investigate Desteni to understand what the mind is what/how we've designed it to be and have been using it for and how it has become detrimental towards the body and the physical reality