Day 6 - The Systematic Creation of Type 2 Diabetes

It is commonly known by diabetics that type 2 diabetes can be easily `cured` or managed through diet and exercise which can then bring up the question, does a lack in effective diet and exercise cause type 2 diabetes?

Type 2 diabetic's pancreases still produce insulin to counteract the food ingested, but it is usually the fat residing within/as the body that blocks or inhibits the effectiveness of the insulin because it makes it difficult for the insulin to transfer into the muscle cells for use via cellular respiration. Fat is the storage place for sugars and not the usage of/as sugars within the body. The muscle cells are where cellular respiration primarily occur, which is the combustion of glucose molecules into usable forms of energy. The mitochondria within cells are the end point of cellular respiration, and if the mitochondria are producing energy and the muscles are where the most energy is needed then the muscle cells will have high levels of mitochondria. If the body has too much fat then the excess amount of fat is going to inhibit the effectiveness of the insulin produced by the pancreas because it is going to have to work through the fat to get to the muscles, because fat is not where glucose can be used.

With that being said we must look at our diet and lifestyles that we’ve accepted to exist within/as through the acceptance of the movement of ourselves within/as this system and the generation of money. Consider someone who works at a desk job 9-5. They will be most likely driving to work where they will be sitting in a car for x amount of time, getting to their job where they will be sitting at a desk for 8-9 hours a day, they will get home and more or less sit down on a couch or chair and watch TV to unwind from the day. Their day consists of little to no exercise whatsoever, and since there is little to no exercise their bodies are not going to be able to use the glucose/carbohydrates/sugars ingested throughout the day and therefore will store the sugars as fats which can be a cause of diabetes depending on the genetics of the individual and the strength of the pancreas, which boils down to genetics. I say strength of the pancreas here because the pancreas is going to need to be strong in order to produce enough insulin to counteract the food ingested, and without exercise the pancreas is going to need to produce more insulin for an equal amount of food.

Exercise is a great benefit for diabetics. It increases insulin sensitivity because it warms up the body which will cause higher metabolic rates due to the temperature. For example, I work a physical job where I will sweat and increase the heat of the body due to exercise. A few days ago I went to the gym before work and the few days before that I had been pushing myself harder at work which will cause a lasting effect of insulin sensitivity for about 18 hours compounded exponentially through the time that I worked hard and I needed 330g of carbohydrates just to stave off lows which means that I needed to inject no fast acting insulin and only needed the basal rate insulin for the day. Those who do not know how much 330g of carbohydrates is, a banana is roughly 15g which equals to 22 bananas over an 8 hour period which is a lot of damn food when you consider it. Clearly it is obvious then that exercise is going to significantly increase the sensitivity of insulin within type 2 diabetics meaning they most likely will not need as much medication or any if at all. Again though the way that we have designed this system and our lives within work and within our home life is not helping the pandemic that is type 2 diabetes at this point in time. That is why I say it is systematically created because we cannot live without money and if our lives are designed to be without exercise because of the methods and patterns that we need to obtain money from then the problem is existent inherently within/as this system that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist within.

The other point here is diet. Take a look at the foods that we eat, specifically take a look at the foods the children are fed, speaking from a North American perspective here. The granola bars that are packed in lunches for school, the yogurts that are marketed to children, the cereals that are marketed to children, essentially 80-90% of the food geared towards consumption by children have a high amount of sugar within them. So if the parents are unaware and have not been taught effective dieting skills, diet here means the food that we ingest, not diet in regards to losing weight - then they will feed children these foods and nowadays with the level of convenience through mobile devices and computers and television to be entertained from, exercise is something that is severely lacking in their lives therefore diabetes is and will become more of a pandemic. Similarly in the adult life the convenience of fast food restaurants and the high level of carbohydrates and sugars within the foods and drinks available at restaurants and the lifestyle that one must maintain to generate money will again create diabetes to become more of a pandemic.

The Responsibility for this is distributed among men equally, we are all responsible for the lack of care and consideration that we have given the body and the bodily processes that keep us alive, and are all responsible for the creation of these health problems through our acceptance and through our self interest. There are those that are in power and that have `more` of a `say` of what foods are produced and what foods are marketed such as those within the FDA and other food administrative services whom have had a dictatorship over what foods are available for us to consume. Just as we are aware that the consumption of sugar has large side effects, those whom resign within the regulatory food agencies whom regulate the food available to us and who decide what foods will be available to `us` are equally responsible and are equally aware of the effects of sugar and the increase in diabetes. Since we have trusted those within the food regulatory agencies, there is a point of trust that the food that is provided to us through manufacturing processes is `healthy` to an extent and will not cause health problems that significantly decrease the quality of life. The main thing I am stating here is that the food that we are being fed and the food that we are marketed is, at the moment, a significant factor in/as the design of type 2 diabetes and it is clear that type 2 diabetes is not being considered by us living within the systematic design of our lives and money, therefore the `trust` that we have placed in the regulatory agencies is misplaced trust, and we should have never trusted them in the first place, never should have given people who's interests are clearly not aligned within equality the availability to dictate our lives and decide what food we will be fed, because as it is now seen through/as the increase of diabetes, their interest is money and power, not the lives of the beings that they have had dictatorship over.

Type 2 diabetes is a systemic creation through/as the way that we have accepted and allowed this system of/as our lives to operate. Some do not have the time to exercise throughout the day or can get in very little exercise throughout the day due to the design of money. We are brainwashed to crave certain foods through influences within media, such as a craving for ice cream or a fast food restaurant. For myself, I never considered where and how the thoughts of craving came from and were designed from, which as it turns out is a mechanism of the corporations to keep us buying, keep us wanting, keep us paying for their products. Have a look at a craving for McDonalds. Why is that craving there? Why is it a craving for McDonalds? McDonalds is just an idea, like we don't have a craving for a burger or a soda, it is specifically geared towards McDonalds, I have heard people speak "I want McDonalds", not "I want a burger" and then search through the myriad of options on how to obtain a burger. Or you can consider why corporations are such a large financial backing for the media industry.

So, As we look at the reasons and factors behind of and as type 2 diabetes one can see that it is due to our accepted and allowed structures of our lives based around money. The structure of the system of/as our lives is creating type 2 diabetes. It is imperative then that we implement a system in which life is considered, value of life is considered, quality of life for each being so that type 2 does not become a generational degradation of the human being's quality of life. It is also imperative that we as humans consider the body and consider the foods that the body needs and when the body needs these foods. For instance if one is lacking physical activity within their daily routine it is best to eat vegetables, because when I am not active, especially during the winter, the insulin sensitivity of the body dramatically decreases and I need more insulin to cover an equal amount of food I would eat if it were summer.

The solution here is within and without. It resides within ourselves and resides within an overhaul of the system we are living. It resides within ourselves through making choices of what we eat based on the body, not based on desires, or wants, or cravings. It resides without through not accepting this system as `just the way things are`, and making the changes necessary to the foods that we are provided through corporations and in this making a stand within ourselves to not allow ourselves to accept a system, accept cravings, accept desires that are not based on the quality of life of/as the body/physical substance

Day 4 - Living with Diabetes Part 1

In this series of blogs that are to come I will be writing about a point relevant to diabetes that I go through in my day to day living and show how different a lifestyle it can really be, and to show, to the best of my knowledge through living with diabetes, biological functions, that I would be more than pleased to be corrected on, so do not fear leaving a `snarky` comment correcting me, I like to learn more and cross reference material with others; I may expand on such things as insulin, like how it is made, the resources needed to make it, the affects on the environment, monetary factors, and this will be a learning process for myself because much of what I just suggested I may write about I will need to do research as well.

Since this is the intro blog

Let me take you through my day.

Mornings: Wake up at 18:00-19:00, due to working nights in which I have to severely consider how much activity I am doing due to the affects of physical exercise and insulin sensitivity within my body, have to consider how much food I eat…there are many things that I could extrapolate upon in regards to work and diabetes - lets just title that work and leave that there for now.

I proceed to check my blood sugar, usually - have not been the spitting image of `perfect` in regards to diabetes - which again is something to take apart and dissect = the image of perfection within diabetes = perfection of care of health possibly - I'm sorry if I ramble, but as I write this I am noting this for myself later on so that I can refer back to it for topics to write about. And in the mornings I have been frequently high, so as I wake up, I've kinda just accepted this as `the way it is`, and reach for two needles that I have to inject 25 decilitres of one insulin, and depending on how high, or if I'm high, x amount of decilitres of another insulin into either my buttocks, the back of my arms, abdomen, or thighs. I favour the buttocks, thighs, and back of the arms for the insulin I inject 25 decilitres of ( I will go into further detail in time on the different types of insulin) and the abdomen for the insulin that I use depending on how much I eat and what the `level` of (my) sugar is.

I make breakfast, and consider what I will be doing in the following hours based on activity level of what I can and should not eat, and usually say "fuck it, I will eat what I would like to eat and inject insulin according to what I would like to eat", and sometimes all I like to eat in the morning is an apple and a banana. I will then inject insulin based on how much carbohydrates I will eat and what I will be doing in the next few hours and based off of `how I feel` meaning if I feel `heavy` then that usually means that the insulin sensitivity rate is low and I will need more insulin than if I were to not feel `heavy`. I then carry on with whatever task I have for the time being until I get ready for work

Before work I check the sugar again at about 21:30 - it is about 2 hours after my previous test - so that means that the insulin that I injected to correct the amount of food I ate will be at it's `peak activity` which I will explain another time, and since it is at it's peak activity the rate of transfer of sugar into the cells is highest here throughout the 4 hour lasting time of the injection and means that I need to consider if I need to eat before work in order to maintain a level sugar throughout the first period of work or if I need to inject more insulin to get myself to a stable point during work. If all is well then I make a lunch, which I stick to a routine within, meaning I usually eat the same thing each lunch so that I can work with minimal factors influencing the sugar level and stick to a routine that I have become adapted to at the moment.

Work: (23:00-7:00) Since it has become warmer recently I now bike to work that is about 15 minutes of activity which I have to consider how hard I am biking because as I get to work the insulin that I injected when I woke up will change sensitivity and it will affect the sugar level during the first period of work - so I suppose I can mention here that recently I have been going low just before work starts and usually eat a banana to correct it….since I started working nights, and even previously within the job that I do, days that I am not low during work is a rarity and I always carry 3 bananas with myself along with `emergency sugar` which is a candy that I will bring along because of the pattern shown throughout the time that I have been working. Since the job that I do is physically demanding I have to keep in mind when I've injected insulin and how much I've injected, like .5 of a unit will make a drastic change in the sugar level throughout the next period of work, and since it is physically demanding I need to cut back the amount of insulin that I would normally inject, which took a bit of time to figure out how much I needed to inject for the food that I ate, which is why I stick to the food routine. The sugar levels during work are usually in the `acceptable range` (4mmol-8mmol) and I suppose that is due to the physical activity and the balancing of sugar correction throughout the periods of work. A point to mention here, that I will write about later, is the affect of adrenaline and noticing the symptoms of being low.

Getting home/school: (7:00-12:00) When I get home the sugar level is normally good because of the work that I just did and the affects of activity, although there have been times where I have been high returning from work which I do not exactly know the reason for, but have based it on the fact that I slow down my activity during work near the end of the night. I test my blood sugar and only eat something small like an apple because when I did eat cereal or something high in carbohydrates the time during school I would be running high for a while and correcting the sugar during school has been a pain in the ass for sometime because if I am high and I need to correct the sugar, the affect of dropping in sugar level is similar to the experience of being low and I find it incredibly hard to concentrate when this is happening, so I decided to eat something small which I normally don't need insulin for, because of the activity of work, which has been supportive recently since I do not experience too many lows during school any longer and thus can concentrate a lot better, not to mention give myself the ability to process the information. During school I inject 23 decilitres of insulin again. I used to be very self conscious about injecting insulin in front of people to the point where I would not inject insulin when eating if I was in public which was quite dangerous now looking at it.

When I get home from school, I test again, eat, inject insulin and sit down for about 2 hours studying if I need to or fall asleep. Eating so early to bed has been a problem and is most likely the cause to the morning highs, although I have noticed some other factors that can really influence the sugar level in the morning such as stress or simply resistance to working on something.

In the next posts I will certainly go into much more detail and take apart many aspects of a diabetic life and expand on the relationship lines between each aspect, but for now I hope that this overview gives you an insight into what a diabetic lives with and has to consider on a daily basis, and possibly information that you can apply to your own life.

Post #3 - Day 62 Autoimmunity and Diabetes

Post From - (http://paulsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-62-autoimmunity-and-diabetes.html)

"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the information that diabetes is caused by an autoimmune disease without questioning what autoimmunity is and how autoimmunity works, and how the immune system has been designed to act on auto pilot to attack a part of itself that is beneficial to itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be told that diabetes is caused by an auto immune system disorder and leave it at that, not questioning what in fact needs to take place within the body for the immune system to become on auto pilot, and why is it automatically designed to attack the pancreas

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the body works as a system of input and output like all life here on this planet and has specific system information for each part of the body and that for an auto immune system to take place I as creator must have placed information into/as the body through my actions and thoughts in order for the immune system to automatically start to attack the pancreas

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because it has been said that the cause of diabetes is this auto immune disorder that there will be no cure as it is supposedly `just something that happens`, when through my diagnoses I was diagnosed when I was 14 so it had to take 14 years for the `automatic` part of the immune system to take place meaning that it wasn't immediately automatic or I would have been diagnosed much sooner then 14 and that it means that I had done something to trigger the auto immunity within body that sent system coding for the immune system to attack the pancreas

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the people in high places in this world, high places regarding money, want to keep their money and the constant input of money and a cure would mean that they will no longer have money coming in from diabetics to support their lives, jobs, and companies, so a cure would not be in the best interest of all those employed within the diabetic industry because of the way we have accepted the monetary system to run, and only through implementing and equal money system will we ever see a cure developed for anything that currently exists that makes money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that only through our being within our minds does the body in fact run on auto-pilot because if we had to in fact control everything in the body we would immediately die from not being here with the body, in this that the auto-pilot is designed within the body for the best functions of the body and only through our input as foods and thoughts and our treatment of the body do we alter the functions of the body to not be what is in fact best for the body, in this causing the body to harm itself due to the programmed functions, meaning that illness and dis-ease is caused by what we have done within the body and not necessarily because of the body itself. In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the awareness to see in self-honesty how I as the body caused what the body has become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see the correlation within my thoughts of basically flagellation and the auto immune system disorder that attack the body, wherein my thoughts often lead to self-judgment and harm and a beating up on myself for being, and in this not realizing that this would have a massive impact on the body overtime and that over time it would then train the body to harm itself for being, as shown through autoimmune destruction of the pancreas, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider all factors within this reality that would be a possibility for dis-ease to exist, and to only chalk up the diagnoses to one simple cause as an auto immune disorder

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diagnose dis-ease when I in fact have no idea how reality in fact functions, on how the interplay between all aspects of reality affect reality to exist the way it does, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diagnose a dis-ease from the information and knowledge that I have been taught and searched for not realizing that information and knowledge is in fact useless and only a blind onto how reality in fact functions as the cooperation between all beings to exist, in this not understanding the cooperation between all beings in existence, nor the intricate communication between each down to the smallest point in the physical existence equal and one with the largest point of existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a human believe that I am above all other beings because I have knowledge and information about how reality works, but not a equal and one understanding as myself of how reality in fact works, and that the understanding of reality is in separation within the mind as information and knowledge when that is in fact not understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the industry that is in control of the medication of this reality is also in control of the food in this reality and that diabetes is a disease that needs to be monitored through food and medication and that there can be manipulated self-interest here where the food that we input will eventually require medication to stabilize the body because this money system works within the possibilities of this interaction and the human greed is enough to manipulate the system to get it to this point where food will cause requirements for medication as shown through type 2 diabetes where diet is easily the cure for type 2 diabetes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a system to exist where there is a mediator between what is accepted and food and what is accepted as medication that is under the same control of the same agency meaning that it is in it's best interest the manipulate the food that is consumed to make money off of consumers later on through causing dis-ease where on would then need to buy medication to continue to live causing the agency that monitors the food and drugs permitted in this system to make a lot of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for the interactions that I have permitted within the body through my abdication of being here with the body, and in this not taking responsibility, separate myself from the body from standing equal and one with the body allowing myself to not see what I have been doing to the body as the creator of the body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use myself as a point to investigate in looking at all the points within myself prior to being diagnoses with diabetes, and see what in fact took place before I was diagnosed that could lead to the point of the immune system attacking the insulin producing cells in the body, of whether it was diet, whether it was thought manifestation, whether it was a combination of variables within reality, and in this find the source to the cause of the system dis-ease that leads to diabetes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to opportunity to clearly investigate why and how the immune system decides to attack the pancreas to stop it producing insulin which is a beneficial hormone for the body  to function `normally` and in this to not investigate all environmental factors as to what happened in each case of a diabetic that lead to the immune system to be programmed into attacking the pancreas to stop producing insulin

I commit myself to investigate the points within myself prior to being diagnoses with diabetes as to what environmental factors and self-behaviours that lead to the manifestation of the dis-ease of diabetes

I commit myself to standing for all diabetics and people with dis-ease in their life through support of the equal money system wherein profit is not the motive of life, but life being the motive of life wherein cures are then able to exist because there will not be profit motive behind the continuation of dis-ease and illness

I commit myself to walking myself backwards in time and establishing an effective communication with the body in how I in fact created the dis-ease that is diabetes within myself and how to properly stand in the place of the pancreas to be the best support that I can be for the body

I commit myself to not simply accept that the cause for diabetes is an auto-immune disorder that is just because it is, and to commit myself to investigate exactly what happened in my life that lead to the immune system automatically deciding for itself to attack the pancreas, and what information I input into the body that would lead it to end up attacking the pancreas."

Post #2 - Day 56 - Diabetes pt 2 The Burden

Post from (http://paulsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-56-diabetes-pt-2-burden.html)

"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed diabetes to become a burden on my life, wherein I have created a relationship to testing blood and injecting insulin as a task that I must do every day multiple times a day, as task that is separate from me, a task that I do not want to commit myself to, allowing myself to skip doing this task every once and a while because I would rather act in self-interest that do the testing and maintain the sugar levels that I have to maintain

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see diabetes as a burden which I have to maintain and take care of myself within, in this placing the burden as something that I have to do, instead of standing equal and one to the point and living the will to care for myself as a diabetic the best way possible in being diligent at checking the blood sugar, and doing the injections daily and on time within the routine that works best for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing that I am a diabetic and that my actions now are going to have consequences later on in my life which will or will not make the point of diabetes `worse` from the perspective of having to deal with other issues related to the lack of care for myself as a diabetic

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within self-interest still and live a life that is comfortable for only me wherein I live within the fort of my self-interest and create myself as a perceived island, because as a diabetic I will die, from what evidence has been shown, earlier than most in life, and in this not give a fuck about myself as life because I am going to die `anyways` so why not get the most out of energy while I exist here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within self-interest, wherein I only consider my desires of what I want in this life, ignoring all of life and ignoring what is in fact happening on this planet to/as life, because I see diabetes as a burden, so I made the conclusion that if I must live with a burden I will attempt to find the desire of desires, not realizing that I in the mind am creating the idea of the burden, and that the idea of the burden is simply not real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat the life that has been given to me like shit shown through the manifestation of/as diabetes wherein I continue to allow myself to live within self-interest even though I have proven to myself that living within self-interest while having diabetes is extremely detrimental to the health of the body because the self-interest that I have defined and lived within is eat what you want, do what you want and in this what I wanted has never been what has been best for the body thus I have treated the life that has been given to me with total disregard, and total abuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand as manifested consequence in this lifetime showing humanity that this is what happens when as we live in self-interest and only consider ourselves and not the equality of life which supports all life, wherein all life here in the physical lives in equality where each part is supporting the whole, wherein diabetes has manifested because I have only considered my desires throughout my life and not the equality that the body has lived within and existed as within/as the physical in which has supported itself in equality in order for life to be maintained, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come to this existence and accept this pre-programming where equality of life is not considered wherein each part of existence does its part to support existence, and in this acceptance become a virus to this existence as I have accepted and allowed myself to live in inequality in relation to this world wherein I am not considering the whole and what I as human am a part of the whole and that I have responsibility within/as the whole to do what is best in equality and oneness for/as the whole

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate life because life has supposedly fucked me over with manifesting diabetes, but this hate only comes from the desire to support self-interest in inequality, because the hate stems from having to face the fact that I must let go of self-interest and do what is best for support of the body because I have manifested damage to an organ within the body and I must stand in place for that organ in order to maintain the bodies functionality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard myself as life through ignoring the fact that I have diabetes, ignoring through not checking the blood sugar when I am out nor doing proper insulin when I am out, proper meaning doing insulin for what I eat when I am out and checking the carbohydrates that I am eating when I am out and doing the correct amount of insulin, but in this ignore the fact that I am a diabetic when I feel high, as my hydration depletes and I have to piss a lot, using excuses that I will be fine and that I can manage in this physical discomfort for a while and then check and manage the blood sugar later wherein I am allowing myself to harm myself as life more than what is needed, needed meaning the sugar must go up in the first place and the more meaning not correcting when I first notice that I am dehydrated and pissing a lot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use diabetes as an excuse to not move my life in the direction that I would like to move it in, but in holding as a burden use it as an excuse to keep the life that is here  and accept the life that is here through and as being continuously `put down` wherein I accept the shit that is here because it seems as if I cannot move out of it because it feels like and seems like a burden that lasts forever, not realizing that it is me in and as the relationship that I have developed towards diabetes, being a diabetic that has caused me to look at life this way, in this it is me in relation to life that has allowed me to live this way, thus the creator of all of this burden and `put down` is only but me, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop a relationship with myself where I am continuously putting myself down and holding myself there until I submit to this world/life/existence instead of allowing myself to develop a relationship with myself in where I support myself as life through and as the actions in which support me as life as a diabetic, in this learning how to develop a relationship with myself as life of how to support what is best for life and commit myself to supporting what is best for life as myself wherein I commit myself to eating in the proper way in which supports the body and blood sugar levels, and in which supports the best insulin sensitivity as well as lifestyle that is best for me as a diabetic, changing the lifestyle from desire and self-interest into what is best for life.

I commit myself to stop seeing diabetes as a burden which I have to cope with but instead see it as an opportunity to understand and live what is best for life in every moment in relation to health, eating and lifestyle,

I commit myself to develop an effective relationship with myself wherein I support myself as life using the tool of/as diabetes to create that relationship wherein I create that relationship to do what is best for me no matter what happens in regard to sugar levels, where I am at in this world, or who I am with, wherein I stay constant and consistent in taking care of myself as life within being a diabetic

I commit myself to show what happens in manifested consequence when one decides to live a life of self-interest and desire, and how it can be avoided by realizing and re-aligning self to the equality of life wherein every being does its part to care for existence to care for life.

I commit myself to stopping the self-interest in that which I have been living and commit myself to taking care of myself as life within/as being life and being a diabetic using myself to investigate what in fact supports the body the best in relation to lifestyle, food intake, exercise, removing all information and knowledge of what food is good and what food is bad, and simply seeing what supports the body the best according to lifestyle and the plethora of variables that life consists of."

Post #1 Day 55 - Diabetes

For Context of the title the "Post #" will be the order that I am posting from the other blog - and the "Day #" is the title from the other blog - I will start from Day 2 Once I start to post `new` content that I've written

Post from http://paulsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-55-diabetes.html

"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there will be a cure for diabetes in the coming years because when I was diagnosed I was told that in my lifetime there will be a cure, in this hoping for a cure and not effectively investigating the cause of diabetes through going through my life and seeing what exactly triggered it and how I created it as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put faith in a cure when diabetes is a $90 billion a year industry, and within the capitalistic system, where profit is the goal of the game of money, the companies who manufactures diabetes medicines, machines and tools are not willing to let go of that money in order to support a cure - so goes with all disease and illness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a system wherein as a child we are bombarded with images on commercials showing happy, outgoing, cartoon characters that are the logos and mascots for high sugar cereals, wherein we as children connect these images to what we want because of the imagery within the commercials, only with consideration for profit and not the quality of life that the child lives as most children then end up becoming addicted to sugar without knowing it, and live their lives consuming foods that they were programmed to consume as a child

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a system wherein the only consideration of value in this life is profit, allowing companies to justify feeding people sugary food that has no real support for the body, only support for profit, so that the companies can make profit and support the capitalistic system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a system wherein there are governmental institutions that regulate food, that are supposed to regulate food, but only have the real consideration for/as money, because if they actually had consideration for/as life within the food that we consume many of the products on the shelves would not exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a corrupt system where the only value is money allowing ourselves to feed ourselves and to be fed mass amounts of sugar to keep us happy wherein we are not ever told to consider what we put into our body and the biochemistry that happens within the body when we consume what we consume with consideration of what is best for life as the body and physical well being of ourselves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support diabetes research funding that says that they are researching for a cure for both types of diabetes when really they are only creating new ways of monitoring diabetes for further profit within the capitalistic system and burying opportunities to find cures

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to realize that there already have been cures that have been reported in underground news but have been suppressed by the medicine giants that rake in billions a year from diabetics showing that there will only ever be real medicine as cures when life is valued within a new economic system that stops they interplay of money and value and profit, and gives money equally to everyone, where all are haves, and life is valued equally throughout the planet in equality and oneness, where life becomes equally dignified.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put trust and faith in doctors and medicine to support me as life when in this game of money the only thing that they really care about is if I have money to support myself as life and they do not in fact care about myself as life at all or the doctors who really understand medicine would have supported a cure and not further monitoring devices and tools in which diabetics are dependent on for the rest of their lives. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that diabetes was caused due to an `auto-immune` disease, wherein the cause is easily defined without actual investigation as to exactly why and how I ended up creating diabetes within myself, or why and how the immune system started to attack the pancreas, in what and how I lived before having diabetes that lead to me being diagnosed with diabetes = what triggered diabetes within the body, and how to solve that problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am my body in fact and only through the mind have I separated myself from the body as life and through allowing myself to be programmed into/as this world in accepting and allowing the system within and without did I accept myself as separation of/as the body, not realizing that I am able to communicate with the body in equality and oneness when/as standing equal and one to the body in all ways where I communicate using breath and being here as me as life in self-awareness as the body as the breath as all the inner workings of the body in equality and oneness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going through life with diabetes because of the constant necessity in having to manage diabetes throughout my entire life, and have to deal with the consequences if I do not manage it correctly as well wherein I am able to lose limbs, go blind, have the kidney's fail due to improper management of diabetes and in this fear of going through life with diabetes, fear seeing the evidence that I am not taking good care of myself as a diabetic through high blood sugar readings and in this fear not test but only go from how I physically feel allowing myself to compromise myself further and in this want to end my existence here because of the suffering I believe I will go through, instead of allowing myself to become a test subject of how and why diabetes manifests within the body so that I am able to support a cure as that is what I would like for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and understand that there is something completely fucking wrong with diabetes when I can test on two different meters and get two different blood test results using the same drop of blood wherein one will say that I am low when I am not and one will say that I am fine, causing one to believe if one were using the mis-calibrated machine since the start of diabetes that one is low when in fact one is not and that the blood sugar is fine when it is not, which end up causing more issues within the body of diabetics which further cost money to correct which in turn fuels the capitalistic system more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust this world will take care of me because I am a diabetic and I need the insulin to live, not realizing that this world does not In fact give a fuck about life, it only cares if I have the money in which to further support this system, and that it will only care about me if I generate money, in this not realizing that some people have to pay outrageous amounts of money to get the supplies that they need because they do not have coverage for the supplied that they need to LIVE and in this lack of having coverage for the supplies, compromise themselves through using needles over and over again until they can no longer be used, which causes further problems, not test as often as they should to effectively monitor their blood sugar which causes more problem that inevitably lead to paying more money to correct or develop the ability to live with the problems

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept a system wherein if one does not have money to support oneself as life then one is left to die and starve in this world, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to state `this is North America, we don't allow this to happen to people` when we are in fact absolutely responsible for the starvation across the world, and absolutely responsible for the poverty even within our own borders, and that we only give a fuck about a person if they first have money, as shown through the stigma of/as being a bum

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept a system where life is not supported in any way what so every shown through the food that is accepted and allowed to be consumed by the human wherein it creates detrimental effects to the physical body and wherein the cause of such diseases relating from such diets is only said to have been caused by auto-immune deficiencies and that the bodies are to blame, not taking into consideration the diets that have been supported where everything of the physical is not taken into consideration of what is best for the physical, the only thing that is taken into consideration is money and sex where diets are supported for money and people go on diets to become slim and get sex

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that something is fucked up in this world where we allow children to eat food that we as adults would never allow ourselves to eat because of the high sugar content, and yet we allow ourselves to go out to a store and buy these products for kids because they are `for` kids, not realizing that the child has a body that is equal and one to as our bodies as physical life and it works in the same properties wherein it becomes programmed into/as a pattern through/as the input that is placed within it, allowing myself to be irresponsible at effectively raising a child in this world and in this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the child is equal and one to me and must be supported in the same way with food as I support my body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when/as I consume fructose the liver breaks it down into a poison basically and that the only thing that is able to be consumed that has fructose in it are fruits because they have the fibre necessary to support the break down of fructose, making fruit drinks, that which have been programmed and supported as good, the worst thing that can be consumed as it is basically injecting poison into the body, because the fruit drinks do not have the fibre within them, only the sugar and juice of the fruit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  allow a system where disease and illness are not supported with cures and where the diseases and illnesses are purposely supported within the system in order to generate more money, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that we are humans are absolutely evil because money is only the tools in which we use to express ourselves and we are evil in using money, in this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the human must undergo extensive change in order to ever be life itself instead of the destruction that it has become now.

I commit myself to show this world as a diabetic how fucked up the system has become wherein diabetes is actually supported in this world through diet structures and the foods that we consume as children and eventually become addicted to

I commit myself to live as an example of what can become of ourselves if we allow ourselves to eat what we want when we want, wherein I now fight with heaven every day where heaven tries to take me from this existence and only through the injections and management of the body do I delay the movement into/as heaven

I commit myself to standing in this world system as support for life in supporting myself as life as being a diabetic doing the best for me as life in monitoring the diabetes and researching what is in fact supportive for the body through what we consume, and not demonizing one food or the next as it is shown that all food types are essential, it is only what we as humanity have produced that has become fucked up as our starting point is fucked up = money, self-interest and profit

I commit myself to support an equal money system where the value in life is life itself and where life will then be truly supported to prosper and where actual cures will be produced because the goal will no longer be money but quality of life equally lived throughout the globe

I commit myself in supporting myself as life in doing what is best for me in monitoring the sugar levels and doing the best that I can in each breath here to care, not manage, but care for myself as a diabetic, and in this establish an effective communication with/as the body of/as what it needs to support itself through removing the mental distraction and sticking in breath."

Day 1 - Introduction to Myself within Diabetes

Hey all, In this blog I will be writing and sharing posts pertaining specifically to the processes that I am walking being a diabetic, processes in which I have allowed myself to sabotage and mistreat myself as life being a diabetic and the correction processes to value myself as life and remove the habits/patterns that I've accepted myself to live that has caused untold harm to myself being a diabetic. I will also be investigating points related to diabetes - solutions, cures, tools, effective support methods for diabetics that I myself have lived and/or realized/applied in my day to day living.

I am a type 1 diabetic and have been for just under 9 years now. They say that 10,000 hours of application in any form can make one a master of the form - that adds up to about 7 years of 40 hours of a week in application, and I can say that I am far from being a master of myself in diabetes. The blood glucose readings have a large variety of factors are of influence and effect and making those calculations each day and finding/understanding those factors can be quite difficult to calculate each time one injects insulin and thus mastery of diabetes means mastery of self, mastery of stress levels, mastery of exercise, mastery of timing, mastery of sleep patterns, mastery of unit to carb ratios, mastery of depression, mastery of emotions, mastery of feelings, mastery of desire for foods, mastery of biological functions, mastery of living as a pancreas, mastery of self control, haha, quite a lot to master with no? So I embark on this journey to life to give myself the BEST support for myself as life as a diabetic and share this here so that other diabetic can hear and share support for each other.

For those who are not diabetic, the information shared here can also be quite assisting and supportive in realizing how much the body in fact does for us to keep us alive, because through being a diabetic I've had to stand in for the body and act as the pancreas and make sure that who I am as the pancreas is in absolute support of the body such as the pancreas is/was when it is/was active and functioning properly...this is where the journey to life is - becoming, in absolution, support for the life of the body equal and one to the body itself, life itself, back to the point - through standing as the pancreas I have to live what the pancreas was when it was functioning properly so within the insights from living as such those who are not diabetic can see those insights for themselves as well  - so I invite all who read this to share this with others

The next few posts will be from my other blog (http://paulsjourneytolife.blogspot.com) where I've written a few posts regarding diabetes, but from here on I will be posting all diabetic related points here in this blog to keep them grouped while I walk other aspects of myself in which I do not value myself as life and walk the correction processes here within.